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Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Calm, Down~~
Calm, Down~~I've calm down, since the last post~~ I realise, I've not feeling any pain since forever~~ Not physically, and that's good?? The pain outside is not hurting me, and I'm glad somehow~~ When it crash on me, I felt so numb~~ No pain, nothing~~ I must really thanks myself for holding on, and the strength came from my heart now~~ I realise, no matter what~~ My heart still let me count on, and everything just make me goes numb~~ Everything, just goes on no matter what~~ No matter what, it's all the same~~ I'm fine, now~~ Mentally, adjusting my mindset out fro depression mood~~ Trying hard to be myself, and holding on now~~ Well, let's all work hard for a better tomorrow~~ =) Love, Irene <3 Monday, October 12, 2009
Just, Realise
Advance Warning - Long Post Below~~Just, Realise~~ How little, can a person be~~ No matter how hard someone try, there'll be bound to be miss out by others~~ It's reality, very realistic reality~~ I always know, there will bound to be stuff that person can miss for the detail~~ But never did I really realise, everything is like that~~ It's the world, real world~~ Am I living in my own dream, I always wonder~~ It's not that I don't face the reality, it's that I find it hard to take whatever it happen~~ Too much mess, too much everything~~ I know, I'm just thinking thing in too simple way~~ Neither wrong, nor wrong~~ Always, in the middle of nowhere~~ I guess, it's due to my personality~~ I'm just, too simple minded in someways~~ Somehow, I don't like to complicate my thoughts~~ It's a one way traffic, straight for my heart~~ Maybe, too much straight that make me so hateful to stuff that mess me up~~ I like being simple, I wanted to stay as that~~ But, the older we grow~~ The more thing we see and learn, simple is the most hardest word to maintain~~ I admit I'm as not simple minded as I think, yet it's not what I really wanted~~ I confess, jealous is the main motive that drive me into complication~~ I'm not as nice as what I think, but It's not my own intention to hurt anyone or being un-friendly~~ No-one like to be hated, no-one like to be look down~~ Yet, It's that everyone is so used to think of that~~ Human mind, is so complicated~~ Everyone is thinking of zillion stuff, and changing every second~~ It's hard to guess, what someone is really think at the very second~~~ I'm afraid, to certain extent of those horrible thoughts~~ I'm scared, that everything seem to be so wrong~~ It's just myself, that I mess my whole life~~ I mess my own mind, I mess my own heart~~ Feeling like a zombies, living day by day~~ It's not a very nice feeling, horrible to the extent that I lost my motivation to continue my life~~ Yes, you can said I'm letting my thoughts running too wild~~ Yes, you can said I'm just thinking of pointless stuff~~ But, sometimes it can't be help~~ It's the worst case for me, since everything starts going wrong since young~~ I always try to maintain, my cheerful mind~~ Yet, it's easy to said than to be done~~ Yes, I know there's million and zillion of people who's suffering much more then me~~ But, something can't be compare or measure in a way that others are worst~~ I'm being extreme here, maybe it's because I'm so sick of being bottling up everything~~ I had enough, to some extent that I even attempt to stop myself from being myself~~ It's just, I lost my own to my own thoughts~~ Everyone had their limit, but the limit is always there to be break off~~ My limit have hit, but it've being overshoot since forever~~ Trying to act as if I'm fine, trying to act as if nothing is wrong~~ I know, I'm consider very fortunate already~~ My parent are always there for me no matter what, I've a good brother whom stay beside me~~ Yet, I'm being greedy~~ I always try so hard, but everything just turn to the wrong way~~ I break my parents heart, I break my own heart too~~ I don't want to be like this, but I'm not doing anything helpful to make things right~~ I knows very well, no matter what I'll be the same me~~ Yet, I've being changing into another person due to the pessimistic side of me~~ I'm losing my optimism side of me, slowly turning to be a very extreme person~~ One sided view of myself, it's just me~~ I don't care what people said about me, but those words just struck to my mind and haunt me since forever~~ Yes, I'm being totally sensitive here~~ I can forgive, yet I can't forget~~ It's life, reality~~ Don't assume too much, it's just plain words~~ Action speaks louder then words, but I prefer to stick with my words~~ Writing is just the zillion ways someone can vent their frustration at, and that's what I'm doing right now~~ Typing all those, is like throwing away some stone struck in my heart~~ However, I still refrain from getting to emotional and writing of out hand on certain stuff~~ Like I said, I'm standing in the middle~~ In the, Grey area of my own~~ So, some stuff is just what I think and it doesn't represent anything to anyone~~ God bless everyone, take care and have a nice day~~ =) Love, Irene <3> Labels: Thought Monday, October 05, 2009
New, Hairstyle~~
New, Hairstyle~~It's a last minute decision to cut, as our DEAR Ms Yap keep swaying me~~ =) Here's some photo we took, after we cut our hair~~ Jing + Me~~ Jing + Me 2~~ Me~~ Jing~~ Me Back-View~~ Jing's Back-View~~ Oh, yeah~~ I promise Jing I'll post the photo we took that time, when we both cut our hair together for the first time~~ Consider that, as our Before our cut photo then~~ =) Old photo, below~~ ![]() Jing + Me~~ ![]() Jing + Me 2~~ ![]() Me~~ ![]() Jing~~ We've change so much, yet I'm glad our friendship stays~~ =) Cheers~~ Had a pretty rush day, woke up at 5am~~ Slept only at 12am plus~~ =.=!! My dark circles are coming out, so deeply~~ -.-!! Sent my brother off, for his re-courses at Tekong~~ Then went Granny house, had a lunch there~~ Went home, and receive our Dear Ms Yap message~~ Actual plan is to nap, but still went out~~ Had a nice day, right Jing?? Till here~~ =) Love, Irene <3 Thursday, October 01, 2009
Hoping, Waiting
Hoping, Waiting~~Hope, maybe~~ Waiting, somehow~~ I don't know why, But I'm just unknowingly hoping and waiting for something I don't know~~ It's just a feeling, emptiness~~ It's due to, my wild thoughts~~ I wish, that's just me only~~ Well, just come to random update~~ Cos my blog seem rusty~~ =P Met my meimei, and had a great time~~ Myst & Me Well, god bless everyone~~All the best, Jia You~~ Love all~~ =) |
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