Monday, October 12, 2009
Just, Realise
Advance Warning - Long Post Below~~

Just, Realise~~

How little, can a person be~~

No matter how hard someone try, there'll be bound to be miss out by others~~

It's reality, very realistic reality~~

I always know, there will bound to be stuff that person can miss for the detail~~

But never did I really realise, everything is like that~~

It's the world, real world~~

Am I living in my own dream, I always wonder~~

It's not that I don't face the reality, it's that I find it hard to take whatever it happen~~

Too much mess, too much everything~~

I know, I'm just thinking thing in too simple way~~

Neither wrong, nor wrong~~

Always, in the middle of nowhere~~

I guess, it's due to my personality~~

I'm just, too simple minded in someways~~

Somehow, I don't like to complicate my thoughts~~

It's a one way traffic, straight for my heart~~

Maybe, too much straight that make me so hateful to stuff that mess me up~~

I like being simple, I wanted to stay as that~~

But, the older we grow~~

The more thing we see and learn, simple is the most hardest word to maintain~~

I admit I'm as not simple minded as I think, yet it's not what I really wanted~~

I confess, jealous is the main motive that drive me into complication~~

I'm not as nice as what I think, but It's not my own intention to hurt anyone or being un-friendly~~

No-one like to be hated, no-one like to be look down~~

Yet, It's that everyone is so used to think of that~~

Human mind, is so complicated~~

Everyone is thinking of zillion stuff, and changing every second~~

It's hard to guess, what someone is really think at the very second~~~

I'm afraid, to certain extent of those horrible thoughts~~

I'm scared, that everything seem to be so wrong~~

It's just myself, that I mess my whole life~~

I mess my own mind, I mess my own heart~~

Feeling like a zombies, living day by day~~

It's not a very nice feeling, horrible to the extent that I lost my motivation to continue my life~~

Yes, you can said I'm letting my thoughts running too wild~~

Yes, you can said I'm just thinking of pointless stuff~~

But, sometimes it can't be help~~

It's the worst case for me, since everything starts going wrong since young~~

I always try to maintain, my cheerful mind~~

Yet, it's easy to said than to be done~~

Yes, I know there's million and zillion of people who's suffering much more then me~~

But, something can't be compare or measure in a way that others are worst~~

I'm being extreme here, maybe it's because I'm so sick of being bottling up everything~~

I had enough, to some extent that I even attempt to stop myself from being myself~~

It's just, I lost my own to my own thoughts~~

Everyone had their limit, but the limit is always there to be break off~~

My limit have hit, but it've being overshoot since forever~~

Trying to act as if I'm fine, trying to act as if nothing is wrong~~

I know, I'm consider very fortunate already~~

My parent are always there for me no matter what, I've a good brother whom stay beside me~~

Yet, I'm being greedy~~

I always try so hard, but everything just turn to the wrong way~~

I break my parents heart, I break my own heart too~~

I don't want to be like this, but I'm not doing anything helpful to make things right~~

I knows very well, no matter what I'll be the same me~~

Yet, I've being changing into another person due to the pessimistic side of me~~

I'm losing my optimism side of me, slowly turning to be a very extreme person~~

One sided view of myself, it's just me~~

I don't care what people said about me, but those words just struck to my mind and haunt me since forever~~

Yes, I'm being totally sensitive here~~

I can forgive, yet I can't forget~~

It's life, reality~~

Don't assume too much, it's just plain words~~

Action speaks louder then words, but I prefer to stick with my words~~

Writing is just the zillion ways someone can vent their frustration at, and that's what I'm doing right now~~

Typing all those, is like throwing away some stone struck in my heart~~

However, I still refrain from getting to emotional and writing of out hand on certain stuff~~

Like I said, I'm standing in the middle~~

In the, Grey area of my own~~

So, some stuff is just what I think and it doesn't represent anything to anyone~~

God bless everyone, take care and have a nice day~~

=)

Love,

Irene

<3>

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